We all know how the story goes. At an early age, we learn how it works. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Butterflies. Attraction. Fireworks. BOOM: Love. He loves her and she loves him and nothing else matters. But that’s not how it really works, is it? That’s just the beginning, the tip of the iceberg.

Most of our favorite love stories leave the ‘choice factor’ out of the equation. So we are tricked to believe that love is this magical thing that happens to us and makes us and our significant others happy. But that, I’ve learned from experience, is plain wrong. Attraction happens to us. It comes from some kind of primitive place inside of us and we have no or little control over it. It works a lot like hunger. It does us, and not the other way around. But when it comes to love, my friends, now that is something that we make happen. We CHOSE to make it happen. Why? Because attraction, fireworks, and butterflies fade. Love, on the other hand, is something we build. We work on it. We make it happen.

There’s no merit in having someone being attracted to you. A lot of people can feel attracted to you. But being chosen… that’s the tricky part. Because being chosen implies compromise beyond attraction, beyond the pretty stuff, beyond fun and games. And some people like to believe that as you get closer to perfection you become more likely to be chosen. But that is also a big, fat lie. Because there is no such thing as perfection. Because connection cannot happen without authenticity. Because being flawed is part of the beauty of being human. It reminds us that we’re in this together. That we are all a little broken. That there’s no shame in imperfection.

Did you like this post?

If you did please help me get to a bigger audience by sharing it on social media 🙂

Facebook: Utterly Disclosed
Twitter: @Disclosed_blog
Tumblr: utterlydisclosed.tumblr.com

4 thoughts on “Love and choice

  1. Everything said made a great deal of sense. But, consider this,
    what if you added a little content? I mean, I don’t want to
    tell you how to run your website, but suppose
    you added a post title that makes people desire more? I mean Love and choice | Utterly
    Disclosed is a little vanilla. You might peek at Yahoo’s home page and note
    how they write post headlines to grab people to open the links.
    You might add a related video or a related
    pic or two to get people excited about what you’ve written. In my opinion, it might make your
    posts a little bit more interesting.


    • You say you don’t want to tell her how to run her website but that’s exactly what you are doing!! There are a million ways she could run a website, the interesting part is that this is HER way and this is HER website. So if you have ideas on how to run a website why don’t you use them on one produced by you? It’s interesting to see how some people, like you, try to change other people’s way of doing things … I can’t understand why.


Leave a Reply to Lukas Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s