Notes to self

Do not talk yourself into loving someone or something, it always ends bad and makes you feel like shit.

Think of that time you broke up with “John”. Remember how hard you both cried. Yes, “John” had a bit of a problem with pride, and yes, he was aggressive sometimes. He was not right for you. But you still loved him. You felt so afraid and lonely when you guys were over that you ran to the arms of the first guy you kindda liked. That’s when “Bob” appeared into your life. “Bob” was sweet, he treated you nicely and was awesome in bed. You talked yourself into getting in a relationship with him, remember? And so you tried really hard to convince yourself that you loved him. You wasted years of your life, suffered, lost “John’s” friendship forever and felt like crap the whole time. You had to go to therapy to get your shit back together. Don’t do shit like that. You can also apply this to places, situations, and things. You don’t want to be there or have that but you give it a shot and try to talk yourself into liking it. It has never worked out. Stop doing it already.

Stop apologizing for your emotions.

Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Even the bad feelings. Don’t fall into that “stay positive” crap. It’s ok to feel blue sometimes. Wanna cry? Do it. Fuck it. Cry like a baby. Let your tears free you from your sadness. The same goes with guilt. Don’t be afraid of guilt. Guilt is good for you, like vegetables. Guilt is a result of measuring up the choices you make with the person you wish to be. You will do stupid shit. Embrace guilt and let it remind you of the person you want to be. Guilt will help you become this person. Guilt means you care. Are you feeling envy? Then have the guts to accept it. Deal with it. Bad feelings are like addictions: the first step is accepting you have a problem. So no, don’t apologize because it won’t help. Do some soul searching and fix what needs to be fixed. Be the grown ass woman that you are and take responsibility for your personal growth. Believe me, it will empower the shit out of you.

Be grateful

Gratitude is the key to happiness. Appreciate what you have, appreciate the opportunities you are given, even appreciate the fact that you have the freedom to say no to some of the things life brings. This can be related to the whole “don’t talk yourself into loving stuff or people”. You see, for quite some time you felt that you were ungrateful for not liking some of the things life gave you. But the truth is you can always make a choice, a different choice, and that is something to be grateful for. Count your blessings. Use your strengths. Be grateful for every damn good thing you have.

Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable

You usually fully embrace vulnerability when it comes to love. You are kind of confident of your ability to love. But when it comes to your creativity, you are always terrified. You suffer from a severe case of impostor syndrome. You feel like sometimes you’re smart enough to fool others and make them believe you’re good at something, but when a real challenge comes, you feel like an impostor about to be caught. Stop that. Believe in your fucking self. Try. There’s no shame in trying. If you can fight for love time and time again, you can also fight for your dreams.

Don’t try to be likable

You have this tendency to try and be little miss perfect. You feel as if you do everything perfectly you can somehow protect yourself from pain… but tell me, how’s that been going for you lately? Well, you know the answer: like shit. Be yourself and stop worrying about doing everything perfectly. You are a human being and you are allowed to make mistakes. You have a right to speak your mind, even when you’re wrong. Besides, how do you expect to learn something if you don’t even dare to make mistakes?

Don’t let fear come in the way

Fear is a common human emotion. Don’t be afraid of fear. Let fear tell you something about yourself. Overcome your goddamn fear. It will be hard, it will hurt, but you will learn so much from fighting it. Don’t let fear stop you from moving out from your comfort zone. Lean into the discomfort, take a leap of faith and remember that you are wired for happiness. You deserve the right to dream and fight for your dreams. Believing you can do something gives you the strength you need to fight for it. And if you lose, well, feel awesome and strong for trying.

Know your values and don’t let anyone or anything compromise them

What do you believe in? Remember what you have learned. You believe in honesty, courage, and connection. You believe everyone deserves to be loved, respected and accepted. Don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of your values. You believe in choosing love over fear. You believe in justice, fairness and equality. You believe in dignity and compassion. You believe in striving, in fighting every day against shame and insecurity. You believe in being the best person you can possibly be every day. You believe in choice and you believe in the power of sharing your story. Surround yourself with people who have your values. Let them help you make this world a better place.

Ask for more

Don’t settle. Ask for what you want. But remember that the more you ask for, the more you will be expected to give. When you ask life for something, life will ask for something in return. Do you want love? Then you will have to learn how to love. Do you want justice? Then be fair. If you give it all and you are not being given then you need to reconsider if your investment is where it should be.

Say yes when you want to say yes but don’t be afraid of saying no

Listen to your gut. Don’t accept things you do not want for yourself and don’t let opportunities slip through your fingers just because someone thinks you’re not good enough or you don’t deserve them. Say yes to love, to honesty, to your dreams. Say yes to integrity. Say no to lies, to hypocrisy, to pretense. Say yes to your emotions and say no to people diminishing them. Say no to things that go against who you are even if you risk losing someone or something you love.

Live with passion

You are a passionate human being. You don’t know how to do things half way. You are a gladiator, a fighter, a lover and a dreamer. You have a fire within you that burns inside out. You are unstoppable. You are fierce and intense. When pain comes into your life, let it explain why it knocked on your door. Let it in and teach you some valuable lessons. When love arrives, let him in, make him feel at home. Kiss him, love him, make love to him, support him. Give it all. If he leaves you, if he breaks your heart, then let your courage and your ability to love unconditionally remind you that you deserve better. Fight for a better world. Fight for your brothers and sisters. Make every goddamn day count.

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