I am the sum of all of my parts. I am beauty, I am strength, I am weakness, I am pain. I am my insecurities, my filtered social media reality in juxtaposition with my raw unapologetic posts online. I am heartbreak, I am resurrection. I am tears, laughter, moans and silent screams. I am depth and I am trance. I am full and I am empty. I am the sum of all of my parts.
I am hateful speech and honest apologies. I am anxiety and calmness. I am selflessness, I am selfishness. I am past, I am present, I am future. I am victory, I am defeat. I am daydream, I am nightmare. I am flawed. I am mistakes and redemption, ignorance and knowledge. I am everything and nothing at the same time. I am big and I am small. I am the sum of all my parts.
I am early morning sex, late night snacks, distorted reflection in the mirror. I am muffin top, I am flat stomach. I am small breasts and push up bra. I am big strong legs, I am starvation for a thigh gap. I am purity and wickedness, I am connection and disconnection. I am rich and I am poor. I am dreams and I am apathy. I am light and I am darkness. I am object, I am subject. I am fight, I am aggression, I am passiveness and peace. I am the sum of all of my parts.
I am a beautiful contradiction – fighting, winning, losing, fighting, hoping, dreaming, winning, losing, fighting. I am me, I am you. I am every saint and every sinner. I am fighting, always fighting, even when I surrender. I am truth, and I am lies. I am courage and I am fear. I am everything you hate and everything you love. I am the sum of all my parts.
I am compliance, disobedience, revolution and oppression. I am life and I am death. I am scars. I am entropy. I am infinite, I am limitless. I am the sum of all of my parts.
(From my diary. May 16th, 2016)
Utterly Disclosed 