Dear 16 year old me (a series of letters to my 16 year old self)

Dear 16 year old me,

Ten years have passed. We’ve grown wiser. We’ve gone through so much. I wish you knew then what I know now. I wish I could hug you and tell you that everything will be alright. That one day, after many boys, many tears, and so many wounds you will realize that none of that matters. That you don’t need that boy’s appreciation. That he’s just a kid, and he’s just as lost as you are. I wish I could tell you that you both have been lied to, that things are not the way they say they are. That you are so much more than a trophy, that your value is not inversely proportionate to your waistline. I wish I could hold you and tell you that the only love you are responsible for getting is your own.

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Dear 16 year old me,

I now know how brave you will be. I know you’ll go through this and so much more. I now know you are a warrior. You have a voice and you are not afraid to use it. You matter. Your story matters. Your experiences shouldn’t be undermined. Your pain is real. You are real. Your feelings are real. I wish I could tell you that love is a journey. That it will take different shapes and shades during your lifetime. That what you feel today is as real as it has gotten until now. Growing up hurts, but that doesn’t mean you should stop hoping and dreaming. Do not let them extinguish the fire inside of you. And they will try to, trust me. Because some people won’t stand to see how you refuse to apologize for the way your eyes shine even after everything around you crumbles.

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Dear 16 year old me,

You don’t have to have the answers. As long as you’re alive, open your eyes and hands. Seize every opportunity. Learn. Do not let fear, defeat or cynicism stop you from trying. People will try to convince you that everything you need to know is already written. That you just have to find the right answer at the right time. Do not listen to them. You can always question the status quo. You can always re-invent yourself. You can find multiple answers. You can take risks. It is worth it. It will always be worth trying.

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Dear 16 year old me,

Stick to what resonates. Follow the path your heart feels is the right one. Even if it hurts. Even when no one else believes it. And if you make a mistake, find comfort in the fact that you chose courage over fear. Let courage be the most important value. Stand by it. Let yourself be. You will make mistakes. You are not perfect. You will never be perfect. People will always find flaws, they will say mean and hurtful things. You will hurt other people too. When you do, don’t be afraid to apologize. Always try to make it right. If you can’t make it right, then be generous and compassionate with yourself. Remember it is the only way you can learn how to be compassionate with others.

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